Mousefur's Tabloid
by Mistystream Sootfur's Loyalty
Summary: Erin Hunter always decribes Mousefur as 'mischeivious.' Now we know why! Please Read and Review! Rated T for herbs! Cowritten with Silvyo Graystripe's Homie.. half the humor [or more] is hers.
1. Chapter 1

Mousefur's Tabloid

Most of the articicles in this take place during Fire and Ice. If you have an idea for me to use, send it in your review.I've already done Bluestar, Willowpelt, Sandpaw, Crookestar, and Longtail. I'll make each article a new chapter. Please r&r!


	2. Bluestar

**A Not So 'Blue' Star**

_Bluestar, Leader of ThunderClan and owner of Bluestar's Stlying Salon, on the ups for buisness at her salon, has also hit the score of love. _**Mousefur, senior warrior of ThunderClan.**

_"I remember when she had those kits._**One-eye, elder of ThunderClan says.** _"But she lost them."_

_It is true that shortly before Bluestar became deputy, she was the mother to three kits. The father to the kits is unknown. But one day, they vanished. Latest reports say that fox or badger took them. Bluestar was devestated. But, then, the ThunderClan deputy, Tawnyspots, retired. Bluestar was chosen as deputy, and later became leader._

_There are many rumors on who the father of the kits were. Some say it ws Lionheart. Some say it was Redtail. Others say it was both. But this reporter knows for a fact who the tom of her dreams is._

_"Her and Whitestorm are together 99 of the day. Everytime I go in to see her, the white tom is in there with her." _**Says Yellowfang, Medicine Cat of ThunderClan.**

_"Her and Whitestorm go way back. I remember when they were made warriors. They kept their vigil together and were apprentices together. It is no seceret the way they feel about eachother." _**Asures Halftail, ThunderClan elder.**

_"On Bluestar's birthday, Whitestorm gave her a golden heart, the international symbol for soul mate." _**Says Goldenflower, ThunderClan queen.**

_But Bluestar seems to refuse to own up to her seceret love life._

_"My love is my Clan. I dont need anything else."_** She snarled at your reporter when asked.**

_Whitestorm also seems reluctant._

_"If you think Bluestar is my love, then you'd better pay better attention to how I spend my time." _**Meowed Whitestorm, hinting that he has more secrets that this issue can cover. (See next months issue)**


	3. Sandpaw

**Sandpaw's 'Fiery Heart'**

_Sandpaw, ThunderClan apprentice, has found a new crush. _**Says Mousefur, senior warrior of ThunderClan. **

_"There used to be a time when Sandpaw and that Dustpaw were inseperable." _**Says Brindleface, ThunderClan queen. **

_When Fireheart came to the Clan, he became friends with Graystripe and Ravenpaw. Ravenpaw, however, was killed sometime around the death of Spottedleaf. During their apprenticship, Sandpaw and Dustpaw, who were older than the three, kept their distance from the group._

_"I remember how they used to argue all the time." _**Recalls Dappletail, ThunderClan elder. **_"Dustpaw and Sandpaw would never let Fireheart forget that he wasn't Clan born._

_Fireheart was once a kittypet. But he and Graystripe were made warriors before Sandpaw and Dustpaw. A fact which, you would think, would drive them farther apart._

_This reported asked around Sandpaw's Clan mates to discover when she grew more interested in Fireheart than in Dustpaw._

_"I think it was around the time that Fireheart and Graystripe rescued WindClan. Who could deny a popular, and rather handsome, tom when he becomes important?" _**Said Willowpelt, another senior warrior of ThunderClan.**

_"It was when Fireheart saved her from going over the gorge in the RiverClan battle." _**Says Patchpelt, the oldest cat in ThunderClan.**

_"They got really close at Graystripe's party." _**Objects Yellowfang, ThunderClan medicine cat.**

_Whatever the reason, Sandpaw and Fireheart are together now. Not only did they dance at Graystripe's birthday party, but the couple were the light of the recent dance at Darkflower's. (For full details on the dance, turn to page 16). _

_This reported also asked what sort of influence the young ThunderClan tom has on Sandpaw's training to become a warrior._

_"Whenever she gets chosen for a patrol, she always asks Fireheart to join her. I hear they have shared a meal or two on these 'outings.' " _**Said Tigerclaw, deputy of Thunder Clan. (To see Tigerclaw's protest against innocent rabbit killings, turn to page 29).**

_Others were all for the couple._

_"Fireheart is an excellent young warrior. He would never put himself in the way of her training, and she wouldn't allow it." _**Says Whitestorm, senior warrior and Sandpaw's mentor.**

_I have also recieved proof that Sandpaw is dating BOTH of these toms._

_"I saw her greet Dustpaw with a fierce ear licking the other day." _**Insists Frostfur, another ThunderClan queen.**

_"I saw her share a meal with Fireheart, share tongues with him, and then go over and flirt with Dustpaw."_** Says a witness who prefers to remain annonymus. (His stripes are gray)**

_Despite the protests, Sandpaw and Dustpaw will be made warriors soon. We will have to see how she can keep her relationship with the toms a seceret while they share the same de_


	4. Crookedstar

**A Very 'CooCoo'star**

_Crookedstar, leader of RiverClan and owner of the popular bar and grill, is getting more credit than he deseverves. _**Speaks Mousefur, senior warrior of ThunderClan.**

_Crookedstar, was given the award for best clean eating enviroment for young cats award. But does he deserve it?_

_On the Thursday before last, this reporter witnessed Crookedstar returning home in the early hours of the morning. He appeared dazed and walked into percisley 23 trees before making it home._

_"This is not the first time that he has come home tipsy." _**Says Stonefur, senior warrior of RiverClan. The tom refused to give detail about these encounters, saying that he wouln't betray his leader's trust. Luckily, I found some other stories.**

_"There was one incident where his name was changed from Shadefur to Crookedjaw. He said it was a Twoleg attemping to grab him, but we know the real story." _**Says Blackclaw, another RiverClan warrior.**

_The RiverClan warrior went on to tell me how 'Shadefur' went out early to see a cat about a new 'seasoning' for pizza. It turned out that he was meeting an herb dealer. While under the influence, the RiverClan cat stumbled onto the ThunderPath. You can imagine the rest._

_This reporter interviewed RiverClan cats about their leader._

_"That 'resturant' of his.. real family like! I've seen him take out some drinks when no one is looking and go through a whole crate of them!" _**Says Loudbelly, Newly made RiverClan warrior.**

_"You should see what he keeps in the back!" _**Said an annoymus cat who would not reveal their name in fear of being chased by Crookedstar's possey.**

_Other cats came to their leader's defense._

_"Crookedstar is my leader! He is a noble and trustworthy cat, and no one should believe anything else!"_ **hissed Mistyfoot, a senior RiverClan warrior who beniffted to the scar above my left eye.**

_"Crookedstar is my father. He has done nothing to be ashamed of and is the cat I look up to the most." _**Said Silverstream, Crookedstar's daughter.**

_What ever you believe, the RiverClan leader will always be rechirstined 'CooCoostar' in my book._


	5. Willowpelt

**Willowpelt 'Runs with the Wind'**

_Willowpelt, a senior warrior of ThunderClan, has taken a real run for Love! _**Says Mousefur, Senior warrior of ThunderClan.**

"_Willowpelt and the ThunderClan warrior formly none as Runningwind trained toghether. It is no seceret the way they feel about eachother." _**Said Speckletail, nursery queen of ThunderClan.**

_"They spent their vigil together. They spent, all the time I can remember together." _**Said Tigerclaw, ThunderClan deputy.**

_I happened to be have ONCE been Willowpelt and Runningwind's personal friend, but that was a long time ago. I'll never forget they way they would look at eachother though. _**Says your trusty reporter.**

_Others seem completly against the idea of the couple._

_"I know for certain that the she-cat is question has a very different cat in mind for her mate. But I won't tell who because she has some friends who know some cats who've kidnapped some cats. " _**Said Brindleface, ThunderClan queen. (Visit page 31 to hear Brindleface's announcement).**

_"Willowpelt.. and and Runningwind... TOGETHER? That the funniest thing I've ever heard." _**Said One-eye, elder of ThunderClan.**

_"Will-Willo-Willowpelt? Seeing Runn-Runningwind.." _**Were the only sensible words we could get from Whitestorm, senior warrior of ThunderClan.**

_Believe what you will, but other cats have proof of their seceret relationship._

_"The two go to my resteraunt nearly ever other weekend." _**Said Dawnflower, owner of the popular resteruant.**

_"I've seen them go on the evening patrol ALONE more than once." _**Said Dustpaw, eldest ThunderClan apprentice.**

_"They go hunting together often." _**Agreed Goldenflower, ThunderClan queen.**

_Your ThunderClan leader was unavailable for comment, seeing as she was too busy with WHITESTORM. This fact proves what I've already stated in this article._


	6. Longtail

**A Very LongTale**

**Disclaimer: I do not own warriors. To Frostpaw: This chapter is for you!**

_Longtail, newsest ThunderClan warrior and and singer in the popular band, the Cool Cats _(see page 57) _has a long tail for reasons other than natural. _**Says Mousefur, senior warrior of ThunderClan.**

_Longtail, who has tied with the world record holder for longest tail ever (Tallstar, 2 feet, 7 inches),_ _may have some explaining to do._

_Officials say that a new herb, a cross between cat-nip and yarrow, will not only cause instant vomiting, but may also increase tail length._

_"If you conbine the whatamacallits with the othewhatamacallits, the resort will cause something." _**Insures Mudfur, RiverClan medicine cat.** _(because this quote is of little, use, we also asked Yellowfang.)_

_"The circufmrance of cat-nip divided by yarrow, increased by 3.141765, while used on Tuesdays when its raining, can infact cause tail length to increase." _** Yellowfang, ShadowClan warrior, ShadowClan medicine cat, illegal mate of Raggedstar, rogue, then ThunderClan prison, now ThunderClan medicine cat.  
**

_This proves the effects of this new herb. But what is the proof the Longtail is on them?_

_"He met with Crookedstar , excuse me, CooCoostar, at the last Gathering." _**Said Graypool, RiverClan elder and mother of Mistyfoot, who saw me writing this and chased me away.**

_"I've treated him for belleyache more times than one." _**said Yellowfang, who's life history in printed above.**

_"I saw him with a mesuring tape last night." _** Willlowpelt said when asked. (I did not do the asking seeing as I am no longer associated with her).**

_But is this as serious as it sounds?_

_"So he wanted to increase his tail length, BIG DEAL! I would to, seeing as the world record holder gets a fancy trophy!" _ **Spat Darkstripe, ThunderClan warrior.**

_"He obiously felt ashamed. His father, Supertail, had the longest tail before Tallstar." _ **said ThunderClan elder Pathpelt.**

_Supertail, who did have the longest tail on record, lost the award when he got into a fight with another tom, Talltail, over the award. Supertail is now retired and goes by the name 'Halftail.' _

_Could this cause any long term damage?  
_

_"There's an off chance that he might get blinded when he gets older, LIKE THAT WILL HAPPEN!" _** Laughed CooCoostar. (For those of you who read the New Prophecy, you know the answer to that.)**

_Whoever you beleieve, the tail messuring contest take place next week. I suggest serious judgment on whether or not Longtail should be allowed to compete._


	7. Brokentail

**Mousefur's Tabloid**

**Special Look:**

**Who Broke Brokentail's Tail, AND Why?**

**This one isnt that funny, but its nessisary.**

_I am here on a special report about cold blooded former leader, Brokenstar. He is now held captive in ThunderClan and is known by his warrior name of Brokentail. _**Says beautiful Mousefur, SINGLE ThunderClan she-cat, whose cell phone number is 9234567.**

_Brokentail was named after his injured tail when he became a warrior. Our question: Who would break the leader's son's tail? Why?_

_Your reporter asked around ShadowClan to find out about their former leader._

_"He broke his tail many seasons ago." _**Said elder Ashfoot. Ashfoot was unable for further comment seeing as he died a few seconds later (turn to page 53 for the new funeral fashions!).**

_"It was because of the she-cat." _**Assured Darkflower, owner of the popular couple reteraunt.**

_The queen told me how Brokentail had befriended a she-cat named Tallpoppy. Brokentail said that he '_**'fell in love with her.' **

_We asked Tallpoppy and she gave me a very dark answer._

_Tallpoppy had been on a patrol. Brokentail was back at camp. They had agreed to hook up after she returned. _

_Tallpoppy was out when she found Brokentail trying to nuzzle against fellow queen Dawncloud. _

_"Dawncloud refused."_** Tallpoppy explained.**

_Dawncloud was never the same after the incident. She is only close to one cat, Stumpytail. her mate. Tallpoppy is trying to regain friendhship as we speak._

_Anyhow, Tallpoppy wanted revenge on Brokentail, then known as Brownpaw, in the end of his training. After another failied attempt of friendship with Dawncloud, Tallpoppy attaked Brownpaw._

_She swore that if he told his father what she did, he would tell the Clan why Dawncloud was so secretive. Brownpaw stuck with the story of a monster on the Thunderpath. I aksed Tallpoppy about her desicion in not telling._

_"Perhaps if I did tell on him, he wouldn't have caused all this destruction. Maybe Raggestar would still be alive." _**she said sorrowfully.**

_So, even from apprenticship, Brokentail was a cruel and evil cat. The only sign of revenge is the bend in his tail, which gave him his warrior name._


	8. Squirrelflight

**Squirrelflight: Some toms want her more than fresh-kill**

** This one is during the new prophecy. Made more Dreamcloud818. **

_As you may have known, I have recently retired to the easy life. I will now have more time to do what I really want, like gathering gossip. _**Announces Mousefur, elder of ThunderClan.**

_Squirrelflight, newly made warrior and daughter of Firestar, has caught the eyes of more than one tom. _

_"She made the journey to the sundrown place with Brambleclaw." _**Informs Spiderleg, another new wrrior of ThunderClan.**

_"I 'overheard' Squirrelflight confess her love for Brambleclaw at the Tribe of Rushing Water." _ **Said Whitepaw, who could have a carreer at this tabloid.**

_But, in the past few moons, Squirrelflight has been distant with Brambleclaw. Who has eyes on her now?_

_"She's been hanging out a lot with my brother, Ashfur." _**Said ThunderClan queen, Ferncloud. **

_But are these the ONLY toms that have fallen for those bright green eyes?_

_"I liked are at one time." _**admitted former RiverClan warrior, Stormfur. Stormfur is now a member of The Tribe of Rushing Water, so it was very hard to include him in this interview.**

_But does Squirrelflight feel things for ALL of these toms?_

_"I dont think she's ever really felt anything more than friendship for Stormfur. Even if she did, StarClan showed me that he had kits with Brook. Opps! I wasnt supposed to tell you that! Now StarClan will bring their evil cursed mice upon me! Ahhh!" _** Leapool, medicine cat apprentice and Squirrelflight's sister.**

_"I think that it'll be Ashfur." _** Voted Longtail. **

_"Brambleclaw."_ **assured Goldenflower.**

_"Ashfur."_ **grolwed Longtail.**

_"Brambleclaw." _** snarled Goldenflower.**

_"Bramblebut doesn't compete with Ashfur."_ **hissed Longtail.**

_"Yeah, well Assfur acts like an idiot." _** retorted Goldenflower.**

_"No he doesn't!" _ **agrued Longtail.**

_"How would you know, you're blinde!" _** Goldenflower screeched.**

_"Take that back!" _** yowled Longtail.**

_"Ahh! Cursed Mice!" _**Leafpool screamed.**

**(I'm skipping the rest of this agrument because it would take a whole issue to print).**

_Should Squirrelfligth have kits, who would the father be? Your guess is as good as mine. Even a few Shadow/Wind/RiverClan cats have fallen for her._

_"Her eyes are so beautiful." _** Said a mesmorized Blackclaw, RiverClan warrior. **_"Pick me Squirrelflight!"_

_"No! Pick me!" _**argued Cedarheart, ShadowClan warrior.**

_"You two are idiots! She'll pick me!"_ ** Assured Onestar, WindClan leader.**

_"But you're a leader." _** Pointed out Blackclaw.**

_"Damn." _** Swore Onestar, leaving the group.**

_"She'll be MY mate!" _**Agrued Tornear, WindClan warrior.**

_"Not if I get to her first!" _** Growled Blackclaw, racing towards the ThunderClan border.**

_"Race you!" _ **Tornear smirked at Cedarheart.**

_This agrument ended in Cederheart, Blackclaw, and Tornear getting attacked by a ThunderClan patrol. Squrrielflight must be one pretty she-cat. If you say she isn't, than StarClan will send their cursed mice after you. (Leafpool saw me writing this and bolted away screaming.)_


	9. Crowfeather

**Crowfeather: Did he really love Leafpool?**

**This chapter is about Crowfeather. Next will be either Yellowfang or Brambleclaw. Another TNP. Requests are welcomed! Watch out for StarClan's mice!I dont own warriors.**

_Crowfeather, WindClan warrior, has confessed love to 2 she-cats. One, Feathertail, whom he named himself after, is dead. The other is alive and living. (and screaming) But is that a good thing? _ **Says now retired Mousefur of ThunderClan.**

_Leafpool is a medicine cat apprentice. She was aiding the Clans during Mudclaw's Rebellion. (Pad over to your nearest Movie Theater and see "Stuck in the Mud: A story of Treachary. ThunderClan's own Thornclaw got the lead as Mudclaw, seeing as the real mudclaw er.. had an accident in the making of the base of this film.). She ran back to camp when the battle worsened._

_The ledge that leads into the stone hollow where ThunderClan camps (should StarClan see this as betrayal, send their wicked mice! I'll just tell them where Leafpool is...) has a steep part. Two ShadowClan warriors fell down this and died. Leafpool also fell, but hung on in fear of falling into a pit of evil mice, only to be resued by the nearest cat, Crowfeather._

_Crowfeather confessed love to her, while getting confused about when Feathertail died. Some might say that was a dramatic touch out of trama, but we asked the professionals._

_"Crowfeather had no head injury." _**Informed Barkface, WindClan medicine cat. **

_Our Question: Could this be the effects of something else? Something ILLEGAL?_

_"Several herbs could have caused this. " _** Littlecloud, ShadowClan medicine cat told me. When I asked him how he would know, he blushed and started talking about the weather.**

_"It was catnip." _ **promised ThunderClan medicine cat Cinderpelt. **_"If it wasn't than may StarClan send their evil mice upon me."_

_"RUN! acursed MICE! Flee for your lives!" _**cried Leafpool, running past us. **

_Catnip, when eaten, is a cure to most coughs. Could this effect Crowfeather emotionally? I went to talk to Crowfeather and find out._

_"There's nothing wrong with me! I'm just a misunderstood hero with a craving for orange creame pops! Sometime someone will recongize that! " _**He whimpered.**

_"This continuous drug use could anger Onestar. " _**I said gently.**

_"Onestar Onestar Onestar! Why is it always about him? What about what I want! What about my personal needs?" _** he answered.**

_If Crowfeather is not on catnip, it is also possible that he is emotionally unstable._

_"If he is unstable, he will have to be moved to Barkface's den." _**announced Onestar, WindClan leader.**

_"I-I-I-I-I I WANT A HUG!" _** cried Crowfeather, sucking his claws. Barkface came over.**

_"Its past your bedtime Crowfeather. I'll go tell you a story." _**cooed the medicine cat.**

_"Story! Story!" _**purred Crowfeather. He followed Barkface happily.**

_Could this unstability make Crowfeather's love confession unreal?_

_"He could have been confused in moments that he shared with Feathertail." _**Said Cinderpelt loudly, tirying to block out Leafpools cries of 'Cursed mice! get them off! Get them off!.'**

_"If he wasn't emotionally unstable before he said he loved her, he will be now." _** informed WindClan deputy Ashfoot.**

_Though with Crowfeather's need for hugs, perhaps love is what he needs. Is he in danger of sucicide?_

_"I saw him trying to jump in the lake the other day." _**confessed a shy Owlpaw, WindClan apprentice.**

"_I'm sure he was just.. trying to get the pair of sneakers that were at the bottom," _**Says Webfoot. (Webfoot plays himself, Webfoot, in the new movie "Stuck in the Mud:A Story of Treachary. A movie directed by the spirit of Spieldburgclaw, who died in a tragic blimp accident over the orange bowl of 1989.) **

_"They looked expensive!"_** _He added when i gave him a look that plainly said... well I"m not sure what it said, and it's not really the point, seeing as looks can't talk anyway. (Unless you count Firestar... wow do HIS looks talk. Opps.. I'm getting a little off topic.. yes... well.. yeah. May StarClan grant that Spottedleaf keep her evil mice out of my den tonight. _**

_Oh Leafpool get a grip woman!_

_With Crowfeather's need for hugs and bed time stories, and Leafpool 's obsessive compulsive beliefs that StarClan does infact plan on wreaking their evil havoc of cursed mice upon her, maybe these two really are (as the Twolegs say) A match made in "heaven."_

Turn to page 23 for the full story on the term "heaven." : _Birchkit_ says that it is a complex twoleg belif similar to StarClan, that is often used in religious terms.But we all know the truth. It is a land of different kinds of fluffy breads and pastires. So what's Ferncloud been putting in _his _milk. Which leads to my next topic on page 29, discussing the possiblity that Ferncloud plans on turning birchkit into the next Einstinefang.

**I dont know is this will be as good as I wanted it. Yellowfang next. Need more ideas! You can change that by clicking that little review button! This chapter was edited by my good friend Silvyo-Graystripe's Loyalty. (she came up with some of the Stuck in the Mud stuff. muah)**

**http/ her here**

**read the attemtped humor rewrite one. It mentions french jelly **


	10. Yellowfang

**Yellowfang: A love for hygiene turned into a love for medicine**

**This chapter was suggested by my friends, Clearriver Ravenpaw's Loyalty, and Silvyo Graystripe's Loyalty. Some could say they are my sisters. This one takes place back in the original prophecy. Dedicated to a to Australia, to soothe the great loss of Steve Irwin.**

_Yellowfang, ThunderClan medicine cat, was once a member of ShadowClan. She was a warrior before becoming medicine cat there. Our Question: Why did she change carreers?_

_As it turns out, Yellowfang is a perfectionist. She had a great love for personal hygiene. As a apprentice, her teeth were white and shiny._

_"She won the award for best smile 6 moons straight." _**said Tallpoppy, ShadowClan queen.**

_"I heard that Crookedstar's jaw got crooked when he ran into Yellowfang on the border, and, stunned by her pearly whites, he fell backward and browk his jaw." _**Says Graypool, RiverClan elder.**_"But you didn't hear it from me."_

_"Raggedstar told me her warrior name was going to be Whitefang." _**Said Cedarheart, another ShadowClan warrior.**

_But what went wrong? What caused her teeth to go from tile floor white to dead grass yellow?_

_"A battle with WindClan." _**said Yellowfang's former apprentice, Runningnose, who is now ShadowClan's medicine cat.**

_"She bit Deadfoot! We all know how bad he stinks! It must have rubbed off on her teeth!" _** said Onewhisker, WindClan warrior and clanmate of the WindClan deputy Deadfoot.**

_Anyway, Yellowfang retired to the medicine cat life. She stressed dental hygiene and cleansiness. _

_Other rumors revolving around Champainge are circulating among some of the other cats._

_"Why old chap, we all know That yellowfang has been a wee bit angry and jumpy lately. I think it's from an over usage of Champaigne. Liquor stains are bloody impossible to get out." _**Says Mossfur of RiverClan, using a British accent to cover up her Austraillian heritage. (which brings us to page 45, where we discuss the real reasons for Mossfur's coverup of her Austrailian-ness. Is it becuase she is embaressed as some say? Or is it what I believe to be right: She was a terrible fear of Kangaroos and tumbleweeds)**

_"Yupp I can tell you from expeirence, I mean RESEARCH that Champainge stains are hard to get rid off." _**Said a Shakey Littlecloud, ShadowClan medicine cat apprentice.**

_Yellowfang turned egdy and scary after her Dental Agency was knocked down. She had tried to open a dentist office, but her Clan rebelled and shut it down. The apprentices were tired of having to brush the elders teeth. The elders were tired of having the apprentices brush their teeth. The warriors were tired of having to pass a dental exaime before being admitted to Gatherings. So, they teamed up and asked StarClan for a miracle. _

_What they got, was CURSED MICE! (The unborn figure of Leafpool explodes). StarClan sent the angry critters to attack the dental office. They did this in evil wrath because she had forbidden kits. _

_"After the war, Yellowfang grew very hostile towards the Austrailans. Why- Because she went to the Outback Steakhouse and chipped her tooth on a crocodile. Perhaps that is why Mossfur seemed unwilling to reveal her heritage..." _** reported ChefBoyardeFur, owner and operator of the secret socitiey of secret socitites.**

_"Austrailian? I'm not Austrailian? What are you talking about? I mean, If I was Austrailian, why would not be talking all like 'what's up mate.' Not like I know how Austrailian's talk..." _** Mossfur hinted.**

_After she left ShadowClan, Yellowfang changed her beliefs. It is said that she turned into a cannibal. Unproved sightings of her roasting apprentices in a cauldron were reported in 1996._

_Anwers are drifting out of nowhere. After researching the cannibal theroy, I discovered the truth! I'm going to to tell about people's reaction's to the turht first just to add dramatic suspense!_

_"Oh my gooodness! Oh my goodness!" _** wailed Runningbrook, WindClan she-cat.**

_"What the bloody hell is this about!" _** cried Mossfur.**

_"Get her away from the kits!" _**whimpered Frostfur, ThunderClan queen.**

_Yellowfang is a studiuer of witchcraft! She is an Animigus (those who havent read harry potter, that means someone who can turn into an animal!1). _

_But who is really right in this msytery? Find out in a book from your very own, Graypool,_

_"Legends of the Cats of Forest Where I live:Idiots with theeth._

**A little strange huh? Well, next is Mothwing, who was requested by another reviewer. A like the support I'm getting, so keep reviewing ok? It's my duty to update, and your's to review!**


	11. Hawkfrost

**Hawkfrost: Life or Death?**

_Hawkfrost, admired RiverClan warrior was arrested last Thursday for treasen to his Clan, and to the warrior code. He went to trail today. Our Question: Should he recieve the death sentence._

_Before reporting the outcome of the fight, your reporter asked cats their opinion of Hawkfrost's trial._

_"They shoud kill him, for what he did!" _**said WindClan elder, Morningflower. Morningflower's clan was a victim to Hawkfrost's siege for power during MudClaw's Rebellion. _(see next inssue for reviews for Stuck In the Mud: A Story of Treachary!) _**

_"If a cat ever deserved StarClan's cursed mice.." _ **Growled a grumpy Dustpelt, senior ThunderClan warrior. (Leafpool cries "Run! Flee for your lives! They're coming! Ahhhhh!)**

_"Its like havin' another.. lets see here, what was his name... real mean.. nice hair cut.. long claws.. Tigerface? noo.. arg..Witchyfoot? no... she planted Fourtrees.. Tigerstripe.. tigerfood..deadtiger..oh Ahh! Tigerstar! Its like havin another Tigerstar back.**" **_** said the very elder Stumpytail.**

_While others were against him, some can't get enough of him._

_"He's my brother. He may have mud in the wrong paw.. no, his paw in the wrong mud.. somethin like that .." _** said ThunderClan warrior Brambleclaw.**

_"Let me see what the hippies are rebelling against today.." _** Starts an orange Squirrelflight, flipping through some old 60's manules. (which brings us to the question.. how are they rebelling today if it was in the 60's?) **

_"oh yeah! They're rebelling against brown cats who approve of their evil brothers. well.. and cream cheese.. but... well anyway, im on the hippies side! Boo Brambleclaw! I.. i mean Hawkfrost. Make peace not war, dude. Power to the people. Peace out, G." _ **Squirrelflight finishes, giving me the peace sign as she hobbles off to sing old Beatles and John Lenon songs with Mothwing while sitting in trees. (the prior is the source of the reason why Mothwing has been unavailable for comment.)**

_Lighting strikes and suddenly all goes dark. I stumble and fall onto the paws of Mistyfoot, resulting in another welt above my eye. Yes. It's very dark. It's hard to see, making it difficult to see things.Then, a shape appears from the sky in a bolt of lightning._

_"I knew one of my sons would finally take over the world! Buahaha! ahh arhjdfn-" Resurrected Tigerstar is cut off as he chokes on a Skittle._

_"Yes. He has taken over the forest! and soon.. Blockbuster! Yay for Hawkfrost!" _**Tigerstar cheers loudly before he floats back up (or down?!) And then the birds and Squirrelflight and Mothwing start singing and the sun comes out again and the butterflies fly around again and the bunnies hop around again.**

"Yeah.. well i think he sucks." **States a cranky Tawnypelt when asked about her brother. "**_But I mean whatever floats Leopardstar's boat man. _

**Breaking news! The results of Leopardstar's council are in! Lets go to her for a quote on it!**

_"hawkfrost will not be killed. We would feel bad. So, as punishment, he must sit and listen to Squirrelflight and Mothwing sings old Beatles and John Lenon songs all day, everyday. _

**A cry sounds from somwhere in the camp**_"Please anything but that!" _

**Leopardstar giggles and goes on.**

_"Then that will wear off and he will listen for 3 hours each day. And then.. well I'll see what I can think up." _** Says a mischevious sounding Leopardstar. **

**It has also been said that we get to watch tapes of Hawkfrost listening to the antics of Squirrely& Motho. (their new names)**

_"All we are saaaaaayyinng! Is give peace a chance!" Come the voices of the new duo. It seems an appropriate ending to this story. With Hawkfrost's ears being hammered off, peace may now certaintly have a chance._

**YAY! I updated!! This chapter was edited by the lovley Silvy Graystripe's Homie, who rox!! Reda her stories, they make mine suck!**

**Update, or I'll make Squirrelflight and Mothwing sing to you!!**

** No shame to John Lenon or the Beatles **


	12. Mothwing

**Mothwing: Whats her REAL passion?**

**This chapter was requested by LostBluePhantom. I'm not dead!!! I know its been about four months, but I had some writers block. Hopefully its cured. I'll try to make it up to you!!! Warning: This chapter contains Sunset spoilers.**

_Mothwing, RiverClan medicine cat, has been widely known to not be 'fully passionate' about her relationship with StarClan. _**Reports retired but STILL mishievious Mousefur, ThunderClan elder.**

_Latest reports show that Mothwing has little interest in prophecies or sharing any dreams at all with StarClan. Our question: If she doesnt worship StarClan, then what does she worship? I went over to RiverClan to find out more._

_"Mothwing never has told me about any dreams or prophecies." _**agreed Leopardstar, RiverClan leader.**

_"When I come in to visit her, she often has a large bound book out." _**Reported RiverClan medicine cat apprentice, Willowpaw.**

_"Not you again!"_ **Said RiverClan deputy Mistyfoot. This confrontation between us lead to the patch of balding fur on my left shoulder.**

_Our sources (aka my surveilance cameras), confirm a suspision many a RiverClan cat have observed. It has suddently been proven that some of the herbs in her stores arent even medicine related._

_"I needed to bring Leopardstar poppy seeds, and one of her stores was labeled 'fettchini alfredo.' _ **says RiverClan warrior Reedwhisker.**

_We asked the ThunderClan historian Goldenflower for imformation on what 'fettichini alfredo' is and how Mothwing may be using it._

_"I havent seen fettichini alfredo since the Dark Ages." _**Goldenflower told me.**

_Goldenflower went on to explain how, in medievil times, warriors and medicine cats alike would sprinkle fettichini alfredo over their homes and camps. They believed that it would keep enemies away._

_Does Mothwing participate in this ancient ritual? Still, there are some arguements over what fettichini alfredo was really used for. One apprentice was positive that twolegs used it to season their pasta! What an idea!_

_But what about the book mentioned earlier?_

_"Its a cookie book." _ **Insists historian Goldenflower.**

_"Its pronounced cook." _** Squirrelflight, ThunderClan warrior informs, coming off from off stage.**

_"Its says clearly here- cookie." _** Goldenflower insists, pointing to her history book.**

_"That 'i-e' is a pretzel crumb." _** Squirrelflight scoffs, picking up a cracked snap of a pretzel. **

_"Pretzel! Mine!" _**Goldenflower cries, knocking the unsuspecting Squirrely off her paws.**

_Perhaps there is room for Goldenflower's pretzel addiction in next months addition._

_I attempted to ask Leafpool about her opinions on her fellow medicine cat's practice._

_"Its the mice." _**Leafpool says, her eyes darting around me. **_"They can see me."_

_"They can see you." _** I repeated to her.**

_"And my tail. They bite my tail." _** She added, twitching slightly.**

_Okay, so maybe there's more then one medicine cat in the forest with problems._

_What would Mothwing be doing with a cook book?_

_"It's not really a cookbook."_** A warrior who would rather remain anoynmous stated. (hint; his claw is brambly) **_"It's actually a spell book." _**...I'm starting to doubt this kid.**

_"No really!" _**He insists.**_ "I've heard her in the night. LIke this one time I was on a patrol..Mothwing was on the border murmering_

_"Rats eyes, muffins, the kitchen sink,"_

_"Bouncy balls, ice cubes, a skating rink"_

_"when I smile and after I wink"_

_"turn that snoppy cat's tail pink."_

**The bramble clawed warrior had to stop for a moment to regain composure. **

_"I ran for my life.. and I swear.. the next time i looked.. my tail was the lightest shade of perrywinkle."_

_**He paused.**_

_"Either that or I ate too many oreos again and I was hallusinating."_

**So basically.. either Mothwing has a passion for cooking with herbs and spices..she's actually an evil mouse.. or... she's a witch. I personally think that the whole forest has gone off the deep end and I need new citizens to whom I ask their opinions. Until next time.. this is Mousefur, bringin the gossip to you.**

**There will be another chapter up by the end of the night. Terribly sorry for the long wait!**


	13. Blackstar

**Fluffles: The Shocking True Story Caught on Film**

**I'm giving you two chapter today! Im trying to make up for the super long wait!!!**

_Sometimes, ShadowClan leader Blackstar can come off as a little cruel and insensitive. We wondered what he did in his spare time. But we never expected this. In this shocking expose, we are proving that Blackstar DOES have feelings._

_Of course, many were shocked when they heard the news._

_"I feel shocked _** said medicine cat Littlecloud.**

_"Blackstar has feelings?? For something other then himself? Well himself or key lime pie? Are you sure?" _** doubted ShadowClan warrior Tanwypelt.**

_To show Tanwypelt we were right, she agreed to set up this video camera inside Blackstar's den. What we discovered, is shocking._

_At first, I thought he lived the regular vicious blood thristy leaderly life of leadership. But when darkness fell, Blackstar brought out a small cage contained none othe than a fluffy white bunny!_

_"He probably ate the bunny." _** insisted ShadowClan deputy Russetfur.**

_"He probably uses the bunny for animal testing his new Destory the Universe tom-cat cologne. duuuhh." _**Chides a warrior whos name has slipped my mind.**

_How wrong he was!_

_We saw Blackstar STROKE the alleged rabbit. As in, he actually, CARESSED a LIVING THING that was WEAKER THEN HIM and that wasn't dead! _

_"Someone's twisted the tape. Blackstar never even loved his Mama, let alone a fuzzy bunny." _ **debated ShadowClan elders.**

_If this startled you, you'll shriek if you hear this (unless your Leafpool, who shrieks at everything.)_

_We saw Blackstar speak COOINGLY to the said rabbit. He said, quote;_

_"Hello, my little Fluffles. How are you doing tonight?"_

_Its gets more shocking!_

_"Who's the prettiest rabbit? Fluffles is! Fluffles is!"_

_You must have thought this was the extreme. WRONG!_

_"You're a good little boy!Yes you are. yes you are!"_

_Blackstar was then seen FEEDING the rabbit and calling him little pet names in a baby voice. He then pulled out a hoola hoop and helped the rabbit jump through it!_

_Then, he took out a photo alblum. I stole, I mean BORROWED it from him the next day. This is what I found._

_There were pictures of he and Fluffes at the park. He and Fluffles wearing matching aprons and baking cookies. He and Fluffles in leotards dancing to Swan Lake. A Picture of Blackstar helping Fluffles onto a pony at the fair. _

_The final picture was labeled 'Baby's First Christmas.' It showed Fluffles wearing a Santa Clause hat and standing next to Blackstar and a Christmas Tree. (Which brings us to page 67, where we discuss Santa Clause. Twoleg mythical rosy cheeked bearded creature, or feline con artist?)_

_So, we wondered if we could communicate with Fluffles._

_Q: How did you meet Blackstar?"_

_**A: **After his last bunny died, he came to adopt me. _

_Q: So Blackstar has had more rabbits before you?_

_**A: **Are you kidding?_

_Fluffles then gave me a plaque. It read 'BUNNY OWNER OF THE YEAR'_

_There were several of plaques like these that Fluffles showed us. _

_Just to bug him, I scoped out, I mean convienantly spotted.. Blackstar on a patrol. _

_"Hey blacky. I'm just out huntin some rabbit"  I said. Just chatty conversation. Hellloo._

**Blackstar just.. twitched**.

_"Yeah. Rabbit's my faavveyy. Rabbit stew, Rabbit Pie, Easter Bunny, Rabbit soup. _

_**Twitch.**_

_"The fuzzy lil white ones are my favorites."_

_**Bigger Twitch.**_

_"Yeah, I caught a whole bunch of them! A big stew tonight!"_

**Full body twitch.**

_"hey blackstar it's funny.. One hopped across your border just a little while ago. Stragest thing. You'd swear it was tamed. So white and fuzzy! It will be the best part of the stew."_

**End twitch. Blackstar's eyes grow huge and he takes off at a sprint.**

_"I need to go... help one of the apprentices with...algebra." He yelled to me over his shoulder as he raced away. _

_"Bye now Blacky!" I say, scampering off._

_Ohh that was fun._

_Well at least now we know how to get to Blackstar; Threaten the rabbit community. _

**Hey!! I have alot of ideas!! I resurecting this story! get used to often updates!!! Review!**


	14. Gatherings

**Gatherings: What REALLY happens**

_My friend and colleague, Erin Hunter, occasionly includes Gatherings in her suspense novels about our Clans. But she doesnt know the HALF of what goes on. _

_"They shouldn't allow the apprentices to these Gatherings! I SWEAR I saw Blackclaw dealing catnip the other day... Or it might have been in my dream... One or the other." _** Reports elder Morningflower.**

_"I like use my insane muscles to kick total domination at the monthly football game." _ **Says Dustpelt, aka 'Bufffurrr.'**

_"I run the Gathering chess club. Im the president of all three members. Oh wait... Witheringbrains just died... that makes it two..." _ **says a smug Goldenflower.**

_"I Started an Edgar Allen Poe Club." _** says Owlfeather.**

_"I've inventing a new religion... Birchpawism..." _ **meditates Birchpaw.**

_At the previous Gathering, which I was of COURSE invited to, seeing as I am the ELDEST and therefor the WISEST cat in ThunderClan, I hid a small camera with me._

_Here some of the interesting things I observed._

_**Firestar: **__ThunderClan has new apprentices_

_**Onestar: **__cut the crap Firestar! No one cares! Its KARAOKE NIGHT!_

_It was then that Firestar, Leafpool, Squirrelflight, and Sandstorm sang 'We are Family.'_

_But Karaoke was not the only thing going down._

_**Crowfeather: **__Fella's, the game's called 'bull.' You name your card. If you think I'm lying, say bull. If you're right, I take all the cards. You're wrong, you take the cards._

_**Oakfur: **__Bull!_

_**Crowfeather: **__Not yet._

_**Thornclaw: **__I'll start... three 2's._

_**Oakfur: **__one 3._

_**Crowfeather: **__You're bluffing._

_**Oakfur: **__Who's to say?_

_**Thornclaw: **__Let's put some thing more interesting on this game.. I wager... three ThunderClan voles!_

_**Crowfeather: **__I raise you to two WindClan rabbits._

_**Oakfur: **__Three!_

_**Crowfeather: **__Take it or leave it!_

_Meanwhile, Reedwhisker and Weaselfur did cartwheels and sumbersaults down the Island._

_And of course, there was Brambleclaw, Littlecloud, Mistyfoot, and Spiderleg's band performing, two guiatar cases filling up with money._

_Then, the officials came in._

_**Russetfur: **__Crowfeather of WindClan? You're under arrest for illegal gamling charges._

_**Crowfeather: **__I don't know what you're talking about._

_**Oakfur: **__Bull!_

_**Russetfur: **__I take that as a confession._

_**Crowfeather: **__Look over there!_

_**Russetfur: (looks over) **__Why-_

_**Crowfeather: (running away) **__Muahahaha! Thornclaw, you owe me five voles!_

_But of course, you can't forget the protestors._

_"Them darn protestors! They'll be protesting breathing next!" _**hissed RiverClan warrior Stonestream.**

_At this particular Gathering, Tornear, Blackclaw, and Tawnypelt were protesting the use of the warrior named ending with 'fang!'_

**They chanted: **_Fang's are UNFAIR! Those Clan leaders are over THERE! Giving warrior names without a CARE! The use of 'fang' should be ...ELIMINATED!_

_(Never let Blackclaw do the composing)_

_Don't forfet the market!_

_A small tent was set up, reading MOTHWING'S COOKERY_

_(another Blackclaw creation)_

_"Fresh rabbit pie! Only one mouse per pie!" _**She announced.**

_Blackstar came hurrying forward._

_"No! Rabbit killer! You must pay!: _**He growled.**

_"just because you're a leader doesn;t mean SHE pays YOU for pie that SHE made!" _**declared Mothwing's apprentice Willowpaw.**

_The Gathering ended when the KittyPet police showed up._

_**Firestar: **__Flee! Don't let them find us!_

_Erin Hunter should really take some more acurate notes. I for one think that if the Clans could read her description, they would be quite disapointed!_

**I'm SO SORRY that I forgot to post this chapter! Its been sitting in my documents completed for months! I feel terrible!  
**

**Please review! I'll update as soon as I can, which I PROMISE will be before May 15.**

**Sorry for the wait!**


	15. Brambleclaw

**Brambleclaw: Continuing his Father's Legacy OR Desperate for Indiviguality??**

**Okay.. so I didn't update on may 15. Or June 15. But how's July 12???? This chapter takes place.. in betweeen the New Prophecy and the Sight.**

**I own nothing.**

_ThunderClan warrior Brambleclaw has always been remembered as the son of notorious murderer and traitor, Tigerstar. (For the full story on Tigerstar, see __'Tigerstar's Treachary', __by Sandstorm. Or, __'In the Eye of the Tiger: The true Tigerstar Story' __by Longtail.) The two cats looked nearly identicle to the last claw._

_But how does Brambleclaw feel about this?_

_Whitewing went around the ThunderClan camp to find out more!_

**'Oh, he totally lovesssss the way he looks.' **_said ThunderClan queen, and friend of Brambleclaw, Sorrelltail. _**'The dark tabby look is totalllllly in.'**

**'And those eyes! I wish Dustpelt had eyes that amber.' **_Giggled ThunderClan queen Ferncloud._

_While the above think that Brambleclaw's looks are all in his favor, some think that give false opinions about the tabby warrior. _

**'He's just as dark as old Tigger used to be. ' **_said a __Long tailed__ warrior of ThunderClan. _

**'You should hear him in the warriors den when he thinks no one is listening.. he's always talking about the apprentices he's been recruiting.. I hear he's gonna make his own Clan... Tabby Clan!' **_said an annonymus warrior. _

_Squirrelflight, mate of Brambleclaw, had something to say about the above comment._

**'He was TRYING to put together a BAND!' **_she snarled venomously. _

_Whether or not Brambleclaw has any musical talent what so ever, remains to be seen._

_However, startling new evidence has appeared that proves that Brambleclaw is trying to 'beat his own drum'. (though Squirrelflight insures he prefers guitar.)_

**' I caught that no-good-dirty-rotten-mousedung-eating-mangy-worse-excuse-for-a-warrior in the forest with a bottle of what appeared to be golden spray paint!' **_says Ashfur._

_The above comment may not be true, seeing as Ashfur has had it in for Brambleclaw ever since the ThunderClan deputy stole Squirrelflight from under his paws. (for full details on the Squirrelflihgt love triangle, watch __'Squirrl's MY Girl: The ClanTime Special'__ on __Badger 56 'The News Station!')_

_What WAS Brambleclaw doing with the spray paint?_

_Ashfur insists that at the next Gathering, graffeti was found that read 'ShadowClan are Sucky.' (Though police investigations show that the culprit of that crime was infact Firestar. (See__, Behind Bars: A New Type of __Leadership' Firestar's Autobiography thats hit book stores this August. _

_But Brakenfur developed the theory that appears better to us._

**'He was trying to spray the forest gold, so that Firestar would change ThunderClan's name to Gold Clan.' **_the tom declared on Tuesday morning. _

_But is Brakenfur only insisting this because HE want the Clan to be named Gold Clan? Only time (aka 'eavesdropping' ) will tell._

_Desperate to find out the truth amongst the lies (no matter how intruiging the lies proved to be), i confronted Brambleclaw and demanded he justify himself._

**'I.. I.. I was... uhhh... look over there! Its... Ashfur... starting a rebellion!"**_ the tom yelled. (Og course, eager for stories, I turned, but Ashfur was no where in sight (it was only Leafpool and her yoga class) and Brambleclaw had fled._

_We decided to check with a more... reliable source._

**'Do you REALLY wanna know?' **_sighed Squirrelflight._

_Yes Squirrelflight, we do._

**'Well then this should explain it.' **_she said, handing over a photoagraph._

_The photograph depicted Brambleclaw, except his fur was a shimmering shade of gold. _

_So, the tabby warrior was ACTUALLY trying to look less like his father.. _

**'No! Brambie! Change your color back! We need you cuteness!' **_whimpered Sorreltail afer I gave her the news._

_Why did he do this? We asked his sibling, Tawnypelt of ShadowClan, to find out._

**'Like.. duh.' **_Tawnypelt said. _**'He's trying to see if gold cats attract more auhority then tabbies!'**

**'Its.. full leaf.. a gold pelt won't attract as much sunlight as a dark dappy pelt!' **_said Littlecloud, ShadowClan medicine cat. ( I felt that it was safer to ask a sane medicine cat._

_Regardless, Does this mean that Brambleclaw is too insecure to be Clan deputy?_

**'He's FINE! Anyone who says otherwise will be personally introduced to my claws!' **_growled Squirrelflight. _

_Ouch.. someone's taking a leaf outa Mistyfoot's book._

**'Don't send him to MY den!' **_pleaded Leafpool . _**'StarClan cursed mice will follow HIM everywhere!'**

_Why Leafpool is under the impression ther StarClan is raving agaisnt the ThunderClan deputy is yet to be determined. _

_Why ThunderClab has emploryed such a total dunce for their medicine cat is still under investigation._

**'Cart him off to Leafpool's den straight away! Let some other cat, ... someone who's fur is.. **_**ashy **_**take over!' **_suggested Ashfur._

**'Hmmm. I'll consider that... I wonder if Stormfur will be deputy though.' **_pondered Firestar._

**'No!!!!! I meant meeeeeee!' **_whimpered Ashfur._

_Coming up next week: Ashfur's Surge for Power: How he will take over ThunderClan with a mixture of blackmail, bad haricuts, and lyme disease._

"""""

**I updated! Yeahness!!!! The great Silvy did not edit this chatper (basically cause she wasn't in the living room when i went down to ask her too) But i hope this chapter was okay for you, though it was on the rather short side.**

**I promise, this time, under penatly of death, that I will update before I leave for the beach 'Aug.2'. Whether or not it will really be about Ashfur.. im not sure yet. **

**review, and requests are welcomed as always. **

**Mistystream**


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